That green slime in the bottle isn't from
You Can't Do That on Television
I did it. I dated myself. For those of you not familiar with that reference, it's from an 80s TV show where they would dump green slime on the characters periodically. Demeaning, humiliating, and to me as a kid, hilarious.
While I've read that the green slime they used wasn't toxic, (see reference at the bottom of this letter) it wasn't beneficial to those kids' health either. So here I am to share with you a recipe for healthy green slime. Specifically, an Herbal Iron Syrup. (Get the recipe here)
While I am not at liberty to share too many details, I am able to tell you about an anecdotal experience of an expectant mother I know who approached me about helping her raise her iron levels. Her midwives were not happy with her lab results and recommended she take an iron supplement. While I do not know all of the interventions she did to increase her numbers, I know that after taking this plant-rich syrup daily throughout one month, her iron had risen to healthier levels! This is only one story but there is a reason that variations on this recipe have been passed down and touted as beneficial. It has traditionally worked.
For those of you who are beginners at herbalism, it really is easy to make. If you can make soup, you can make this. If you want to make it but aren't sure how to acquire all of the ingredients, I will send them to you! Everything is included except the liquids (brandy, fruit concentrate, molasses, and honey). Go here to order a kit.
It's no doubt that this supplemental syrup is green. It's full of the blue-green algae spirulina and a mess of other phytonutrient-rich herbs and roots. Full disclosure, I did not add the fruit concentrate which is why my syrup is so green and not some hue of brown.
A few hints about iron and our bodies:
About the herbs in the recipe:
Dandelion - Easily found in any (chemical free) lawn or sidewalk crack. Contains iron, calcium, phosphorus, vitamins C, A, and some Bs.
Nettles - Found along waterways and at in moist woods. Stings you when you aren't looking. High in iron. Contains Calcium, and vitamins A, C, and D. Strengthens blood vessels, kidneys, and adrenal glands.
Raspberry leaf - Brambles found along fields and woods edges. Contains phosphorus, Calcium, Vitamin B1, and vitamin A.
Alfalfa - Found in fields. Cute kid name. Contains Iron, calcium, phosphorus, and vitamins A, C, D, and some Bs.
Yellow dock - Found in fields, gardens, and lawns. High in iron and other minerals.
Hawthorn berry - Found in and along woods. Makes a yummy jam. Contains iron, calcium, and other minerals.
Spirulina - Cyanobacteria (blue-green algae) found in lakes with more brackish and saline waters in tropical and subtropical lakes. Used as astronaut food! High in protein, vitamins, and minerals (iron!).
Nutritional yeast - is a deactivated yeast. High in fiber, complete protein, and some B vitamins.
Blackstrap molasses - Found extracted from sugarcane. Contains iron, calcium, magnesium, and vitamin B6.
Honey - Found in honey bee hives. Contains some minerals, B-complex vitamins, Vitamins C, D, and E.
These herbs have SO MANY MORE beneficial attributes but as we are discussing iron this month, I will share more about these a different time. I hope you try this recipe out. Let me know how you love it!
Cheers to healthy bodies!
Love and wild herbs,
Regarding that YCDTOTV slime:
"While the original recipe consisted of rotten food, after continued complaints from the cast, the recipe for green slime was changed to a more innocuous mixture of lime green gelatin powder, oatmeal, and water. Eventually baby shampoo was added to the recipe so that it would wash out of the actors' hair more easily after several of the female cast members complained. In the aforementioned 1982 episode "Television," Christine revealed the ingredients to the green slime, confirming all of the previously stated items. In later years however, the recipe consisted of simply adding green food coloring to a bucket of cottage cheese, which had the side effect of spoiling if left too long under hot studio lights (Vanessa complained of its smell almost making her sick after her sliming in the 1987 'Worst Of You Can't Do That On Television')." [Wikipedia]
**This article is intended to educate. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.
Sarah is a community herbalist, raising children, teaching children and adults the ways of herbalism and nature, and handcrafting herbal products for the community.